I realize that all major successes in human history are at least in part due to the dedication of certain individuals who found the motivation and strength to push themselves over and over again, doggedly pursuing their goals. I realize there are also outliers, who merely discover themselves in the midst off random success. Lottery winners, Jed Clampett, this guy.
In case you were unaware, we just exited another McDonald's Monopoly season. As a garbage man, I can play McDonald's Monoploy without ever having to purchase food myself, because the trash of about one-thousand people passes before my eyes every week. And every week, from July sixteenth through August sixteenth, I peeled those tabs off of discarded Big Mac boxes, soggy hashbrown wrappers- looking for a winning combination of game pieces.
I didn't find that combination.
A few days before the game ended, I actually looked up the odds of winning. Turns out I had a much better chance of opening a trash can lid and immediately being killed by a lightning strike than finding that wretched Boardwalk piece.
But I couldn't stop. The empty hope of winning a million dollars and being only ONE PIECE away from a fifty-thousand-dollar-a-year payout for the next twenty years was positively intoxicating. I even bought a Big Mac at one point, with money that actually existed in my wallet.
The only prizes I won were free food. Free McDonald's food. Which of course, I cashed in on. Oh, McGriddle, you horrible, sexy pancake-demon. You made me so sick, but I ate you anyway. Quarter pounders and french fries and kept on peeling those tabs.
Looking for the payoff.
This entire concept is so obvious but so painfully difficult for me. I hate practical, present-tense investment for small, often nearly imperceptible gains. It's discouraging to me because I often feel like I don't really have anything meaningful (read: gratifying) to show for what was, particularly in terms of willpower, a real investment.
This entire concept is so obvious but so painfully difficult for me. I hate practical, present-tense investment for small, often nearly imperceptible gains. It's discouraging to me because I often feel like I don't really have anything meaningful (read: gratifying) to show for what was, particularly in terms of willpower, a real investment.
How do you find motivation? Is it something you "find," or is it a point you reach? Is motivation a desire for something better, or is it the weathered conviction that comes from experience? Experience that knows there is only one way forward, and it is by walking with your feet. Under such experience, if it feels like forward motion isn't happening, there is only one culprit. Make that two culprits. And the legs that connect them to a really stupid brain.
I have a really stupid brain. And this physical exercise stuff is just the shallow part for me. But it's so measurable and objective. As absurd as it is, even in these few days I have felt a small shift in my perspective on diligence and effort. A small one.
But I need that small one. And a lot more like it.
So.
The Fatigue:
4 mile run
[Aberlyn helped me with this one. Got me out of bed and out the door with her while it was still cool this morning. Long runs are nice because they really help me feel like I've made progress, even if on the nuts-and-bolts side of things, they are not necessarily the best for fast-turnover motion like indoor soccer]
The Fatigue:
4 mile run
[Aberlyn helped me with this one. Got me out of bed and out the door with her while it was still cool this morning. Long runs are nice because they really help me feel like I've made progress, even if on the nuts-and-bolts side of things, they are not necessarily the best for fast-turnover motion like indoor soccer]
15 minutes on The Square
[This came a little later in the morning. Went down to the park with my younger brother and sister Elijah and Julia. Elijah ran with me for the first six minutes, then passed and worked with Julia. It was actually really sweet to have them along. I remembered how much it meant to me, when I was included in grown-up stuff, even if it was as pointless as The Square. Fifteen minutes because I made the sides twenty yards instead of fifteen, and because SO HOT AND NO NO NO NO.]
That's one small step for man, and I'm gonna eat something covered in chocolate.
Thanks for reading. Love you guys.
Indefatigable. Let's go.
[This came a little later in the morning. Went down to the park with my younger brother and sister Elijah and Julia. Elijah ran with me for the first six minutes, then passed and worked with Julia. It was actually really sweet to have them along. I remembered how much it meant to me, when I was included in grown-up stuff, even if it was as pointless as The Square. Fifteen minutes because I made the sides twenty yards instead of fifteen, and because SO HOT AND NO NO NO NO.]
That's one small step for man, and I'm gonna eat something covered in chocolate.
Thanks for reading. Love you guys.
Indefatigable. Let's go.
I remember grandma always saying that if she ever won that money, she would do something great with it. Now I know it's the small steps that are so hard, doing good with what I have right now. Good one, E.
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