Day Seven: Game Day! and Soapblog?

Kick-off for the game was at 9pm this evening. NINE O'CLOCK, POST-MERIDIAN.

Yeah. I got home at 10:15pm.

I mean, holy COW. Do these schedulers think I'm in highschool? Grandpa needs his shut-eye, ya dig?

Anyway.

We thought we played the best team in the league last week, but, in fact, we played them tonight. Yeesh. But! Though we lost (4-12), we definitely played a lot better. And I, for one, definitely felt better.

Better legs, better lungs. My touches we still a little on the sloppy side, but I think part of that is still adjusting to indoor turf. The ball just moves so fast, and so easily. The necessary force for a touch in outdoor is just way overkill on astro-turf.

But I am adapting. And I definitely wasn't in as much pain at the end of the match tonight I was last week.

It's encouraging, all round. And I'm all about finding encouragement. That said, I've still got a looooong way to go if I'm headed for my former stamina.

And that's definitely what I'm headed for.

And now, for something entirely different.

If you're like me and spend too much time on Facebook, you've probably seen the bikini/one-piece debate being trotted out yet again. I've resisted getting in the fray for a long time. But now I have my very own soapbox! My blog!

A soapblog, if you will.

So.

Personally, I reject a culture that seeks freedom for one sex (men from lusting after women) by restricting the other (women from baring their midriffs and shoulders so men won't be tempted to objectify them).

Objectification happens inside my head. It happens because of what's in my heart. We could make all women wear shorts and bathing suits with straps over the shoulders and men who struggle with lust would not be ONE INCH closer to freedom, while yet another generation of women would be indoctrinated with the lie that there is something inherently different about their bodies, and that difference is inescapably and constantly an object of sexuality.

God did not make the person of a woman or any part of a woman as something that men naturally look at and think of sex. That is a learned pattern. I am not describing attraction. I'm describing sexualization.

There are men who look at eight-year-old girls (and boys) and want to have sex with them.

But we know the children are not to blame. There is something deeply broken inside of the pedophile fueling that unhealthy, twisted fantasy.

Yet somehow, if a man lusts after a physically mature woman and objectifies her, that woman shares responsibility.

There it is. The beating heart of this broken concept of sexual identity. We believe that after a certain age, women's bodies become sexual objects that they must adequately cover, lest men lust after them. Once they have boobs, they share in part of the blame if a man is struggling to control his appetites. Particularly if she is being "provocative."

Anyone feeling crazy yet? I feel crazy.

There is something deeply broken in most men, and it goes to the heart of how they seem themselves, their desires, and the women around them.

I firmly and completely believe it has NOTHING to do with the amount of skin a woman is showing.

In one conversation that I was reading, someone tried to make an analogy about how we wouldn't have whiskey at an AA meeting, and for the same kind of reason shouldn't have girls dressed in bikinis around guys.

In my opinion, that attitude unintentionally but precisely articulates why so many guys seeking sexual purity do not find it, and why so many girls are constantly ashamed of themselves. That attitude affirms a broken, hopeless identity for both sexes. Namely- guys are powerless to control their sexual appetites for women, and women are objects for men to satisfy their sexual appetites with.

This is rape culture. Men can't, at a core basic level, resist women. Women can't be something more than sexual to a man.

We recognize this is not what Jesus says about us, right?

But moving forward!

I believe that everything about this conversation is centered on a lie about our identities. And rather than affirm our real identity, and thus the identity of everyone around us, much of Christianity is mired in pointless, empty attitudes about "purity" related to how much skin a girl is showing.

There is nothing inherently sexual about skin. That is learned.

Church culture forcing girls into wearing one-pieces in no way helps with my struggle. To the contrary, it distracts and frames a false struggle.

My struggle is not against seeing that girl as a sexual (or any other) object. My struggle is to understand who she is to God. Who I am to God. And what God is really like.

Can we stop the bullshit about the rest of it? Maybe guys can actually be helped and girls can stop feeling like there's something inherently sinful about their bodies; that they're always in danger of making a guy lust after them.

Both sexes deserve a lot better. Jesus made us so much more powerful and free than a debate about square-inches of clothing.

Indefatigable. Let's go.